As Ravens fans we care primarily about the success of our team.
When you think about it, isn’t that a little selfish?
In this time of broader social efforts, let’s take a moment to empathize with our less-advantaged NFL brethren, the message board and twitter trolls. The passion of these social misfits is particularly imperiled by twitter’s 280-character limit, which restricts their ability to start the flame wars which keep them going. They want nothing more than a little schadenfreude and deserve not only our pity, but an empathetic offering to simplify their daily lives which are otherwise marked primarily by vitamin D deficiency, halitosis, and crippling exposure to bridge mold.
To that end, here are the top reasons why Ravens fans can’t yet claim Lamar Jackson is good:
1. I watched him miss those throws that one time and I trust my eyes
2. Must wait and see after X weeks/years
3. Running QBs always get hurt
4. Has 0 rings. Zero!
5. Must beat all QBs in his draft round (Mayfield, Allen, Darnold, Rosen) to qualify for “veteran” comparisons
6. Has not yet faced a real defense
7. Has never beaten the Patriots
8. Opponents have all been tanking
9. Opposing DBs were trying to get traded
10. Due for more fumbles after 2 games without one
11. Will take up a huge portion of 2023 salary cap
12. Only time will tell…and I’ll tell you how much time when we get there!
13. Can’t compare to QBs because he’s a running back
Next time just tweet “Lamar still sucks because 3, 6, 8 #Ravensflock” or make a similar board post. Isn’t that easier?
If you’re a Ravens fan, please contribute your ideas in the comments section.
A troll’s will to live may be riding on it.